Six Steps for Mindful Transitions

The discomfort from change can bring out the worst in us as well as the best in us. Life’s transitions can seem overwhelming, stressful, and sometimes downright scary. If you want change bring out more of the best of you instead of the worst of you, read on. I’ve developed these reflections and affirmations to manage change gracefully over more than 30 moves in my lifetime and numerous changes in jobs, relationships, and physical health.

1. Acknowledge that you are in transition.

Just acknowledging the fact that you’re in a transition can take a lot of pressure off — and remembering that you have been through many transitions before, even if you don’t remember how much you hated potty training or the last time you wore a diaper. Right now, the entire world is in transition from a pandemic with no vaccine to a pandemic with one, with a possible end in sight.

Transition is a fact of life. I have been through many transitions in my life and I can handle this one.

2. Identify a marker for the end of the transition.

Some markers are immediately apparent, such as moving into a new home or getting a new job. Others are less clear, and may need a bit of creative thinking. The marker for the end of the pandemic for me will be when I can go to a live concert in my area without worry.

I look forward to celebrating the end of this transition!

If you are going through a breakup, it can be trickier to identify the end of the transition because it could be a while before you find another relationship. For my last breakup, the marker was when I didn’t think about my ex daily. One day during a conversation with a friend, I mentioned him as an ex in the context of all my other exes. It felt great. If If your transitional marker is hard to define ahead of time, you could say,

I look forward to feeling a sense of freedom and independence.

3. Express gratitude for the gifts and lessons of what you are transitioning from.

Often stressful memories keep coming up when we haven’t integrated the lessons from the thing we are transitioning out of. After a year of living in this pandemic, I’ve grown more self-aware, more confident in my creative abilities, and more appreciative of my friends because it has been so lonely. I can be grateful for those experiences even though I don’t want the pandemic isolation to last forever. List at least three things you learned and give thanks for those experiences.

I am grateful for the lessons learned through this experience. Thank you for showing me my strength.

4. Offer the benefits of your transition to others.

We are truly in this together. The more mature you become through gracefully managing transitions, the more you can help those who need it, now or far into the future when you tell your grandkids about it. Writing about this topic for you is part of my offering from the many transitions I’ve been through.

I offer my experience of this transition for the benefit of all.

5. Ask for support in your transition.

Asking the universe for support activates the seen and unseen forces in your world. This can be people close to you, people you encounter briefly, or even pieces of information that come your way through indirect channels. Recently I wrote down the phone number of the state vaccine appointment hotline for someone without internet access, and she’s getting her second shot next week. I want to do my part to support the transition of our world back to health and safety.

There are many ways you can ask for support. Here are some affirmations that I used recently for a short transition I went through — a trip back to Vermont to visit family.

Give me the strength to move gracefully.

May all forces gather in the name of maximum soul healing.

I trust that the exact right scenarios will emerge for this situation at exactly the right time. (I used this when I was obsessing about travel details)

6. Offer thanks in advance for a smooth transition.

You can say something like, “I’m so grateful for a world where everyone can interact safely,” Or, you can write statements that declare how well things went. I call this “remembering the future.” Pretend you’re looking back from the completion of the transition and remembering how it went. Here are some more examples you could use:

I am grateful that this worked out well for everyone involved.

This was easier than I thought. I am so happy how it worked out.

This is a pivotal time in my life that I will remember for how gracefully I moved through it and how many people helped me…and they will remember how much joy and wisdom I brought to their lives.

I am so excited about getting to boogie down in a crowded room full of sweaty people!

I’ve found that it helps to refer to statements like this often while a transition is occurring. They help keep you focused on your highest ideals while dealing with potentially difficult situations.

Write to me and let me know if these worked!