How to Create Better Memories and Stop Repeating Mistakes

by the author

Do you look back on the past with sadness or regret?

Research into memory shows us that using certain words and Photoshopped images leads people to create different memories. This episode of the Hidden Brain goes into some detail about how memories can be invented. If memory is fallible, it’s also malleable, and we have the opportunity to create our lives in reverse by framing past events in a new light. If you’ve ever discovered information that completely recast your view of an experience, you’ll know what I mean.

Why not do this intentionally to create a more positive outlook on the past? While the mind is geared to gravitate toward negative experiences, we can implant new interpretations of events, even difficult ones, in a more positive light. This can be done as events happen instead of wallowing in years of miserable memories. I’ve made a habit of this form of positivity training since learning some simple yet fun evaluation questions from textile artist Sherri Lynn Wood in her book The Improv Handbook For Modern Quilters. While she uses these questions for quilt making, I’ve found it works for writing projects and life in general. Below is my adaption.

Use these evaluation questions for one project, one aspect of your life over a time period, or your whole year. Even if things seemed difficult, these particular questions have a way of evoking positive lessons.

To get started, reflect on the process as well as the outcome of what you are evaluating, and then answer the following questions. It’s best to write your answers down or speak them into a recorder or a transcription app like Otter.ai.

1. What surprised me?
2. What did I discover or learn?
3. What was satisfying about this?
4. What was unsatisfying about this?
5. Is there anything I could do to change the parts that were unsatisfying?
6. Where do I want to go from here?
7. To sum up your project, come up with a phrase or a short sentence that puts the experience in a positive light. You can refer to this as time goes on; these words help create a positive memory.

I’ve found that doing the evaluations on a regular basis helps me create more of what I want and ultimately creates better memories because I am continually looking for the satisfactory aspects of what I do. It’s a form of positivity training that automatically creates space for change.

And you can certainly use it on smaller projects, whether it’s an afternoon of making things, a redecoration project, or a writing project. If you make a habit of it, it can keep you from repeating difficult lessons, and create better memories.